11 male ETI readers reveal the most common misconceptions women have about penises

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Penises are amazing, incredible, and sometimes quite intimidating things. If you are someone who doesn’t have a penis, there will of course be things you don’t know about them. Here, some men and people with penises took to Reddit to explain the biggest misconceptions women they’ve met have had about their schlongs.

1. “It gets hard at will. This piece of shit will get hard at the worst moments, but the one time you’re about to have sex with that attractive girl that actually showed you interest? ‘Can’t help u bro lol’.”

2. “Apparently [some people] think that if they want sex, they can touch the penis like it’s a button to turn the man on. It doesn’t work that way…”

3. “Two common misconceptions I’ve experienced: Penises are delicate and should be handled softly and gently, like baby bunnies. Penises are made of adamantium, and can safely support 120 lbs and be used as makeshift anvils.”

4. “I’ve known girls who didn’t know what the refractory period was. AKA the time-out your dick needs in order to recharge after orgasm and get hard again. Sometimes it can stay hard, but in general, in the words of Zapp Brannigan, ‘The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised’. ”

5. “Boners happen only because we are sexually aroused. No – sometimes, boners happen randomly, even in your presence. Yes, sometimes, our penises do have a mind of their own.”

6. “That when we pee, we can aim with laser accuracy. It gets kinked up and sometimes makes the stream literally split, or shoot out sideways.”

7. “That they can’t break. They can, so giddy-up a little more carefully, cowgirls.”

8. “I have had multiple women explain to me that they thought there was a bone in there. Not some 14-year-old girl, but grown ass women.”

9. “It’s easy to maintain. The hell it’s not. Shaving is tedious and sometimes hurts, I spend at least five minutes in the shower a day just washing the dang thing, and it is super uncomfortable if you get sweaty down there. Also, if you’re circumcised, it’s super easy to chafe if you don’t have the perfect fitting clothes and underwear. I probably get a new dresser drawer of underwear every two years. Also, getting pimples on there (non STD related) absolutely suck, and hurt so much.”

10. “There’s a mix of reasons a guy can’t get it up. He could be really nervous, he could be older, it could be ED, all things that could make it hard for him to get it up. At first, guys get rock hard for just thinking of a girl and for no reason at all. But as testosterone decreases it gets harder and harder to get it up and keep it up. It doesn’t have much to do with the girl.”

11. “We enjoy dry violent tugging. We do not.”